So you've made up your mind to marry a Russian Woman. First you should understand the fact that Russians are different culture, different traditions and code of behaviour. Russian Women think a different way, sometimes their wishes, their aspirations and motives are completely opposite to those that women in other countries have. We understand that there are certain stereotypes concerning Russians in general and Russian Women in particular. Many of these stereotypes are far from reality, but some peculiarities of Russian character and life realities leave their imprints on the character, lifestyle and life values of a Russian Woman. Let's try to understand Russian Women, while keeping in mind that every person is a unique creature.
It is considered that a Slavic Woman can become a perfect wife. That means being loving and tender to their husbands. They are kind and caring mothers to the children and good keepers of the home hearth. When a husband comes home in evening he finds his house clean, the food prepared for him and a beautiful loving woman playing with children. Isn't it a dream? It happened to become a dream not only for western men but for Russian women as well, because western women became more oriented on the career and Russian men lost certainty in their ability to provide for the future family due to the difficult economic state. Women are also hesitant about taking such serious step as creating a family, being insecure of the possibility to provide their children with good education, health care and living conditions.
You should know that even lodging is a huge problem for a young family in Russia and other countries of Former Soviet Union. So it's natural that the interest of western men to Russian women has greatly increased during the last few years. And those men that choose to look for a wife in Russia get very lucky because they manage to win the heart of young beautiful slim trendy and well-educated Russian brides that are dreaming of security, stability and happy family life and a good future for their children.
On average, young Russian women are slimmer than their western coevals. FSU women are used to preparing food at home, they have not become the victims of the fast food.
Read more about Russian cuisine & eating in Russia
In addition to this the most of Russian women make use of public transport and walk a lot. In spite of the comparatively low salaries Russian women spend a lot of money on expensive make-up and clothes. Many of them keep to a diet or go in for sports to stay in a perfect shape.
They do so not only to win the hearts and catch admiring glances of men, they think that keeping up with the latest trends in fashion magazines, television and advertising is absolutely necessary to be "compatible" with their female friends. But they have also realized the importance of leading a healthy life-style and having up to date looks. It is considered that a girl who knows how to dress up and attend herself has a lot more chances to get married. Besides many of them learn how to sew or knit from the very childhood because these skills are thought to be of a great demand if one wants to dress up at minimum expenses. But the Russian woman ability to sew or to cook is not enough for a successful marriage.back to the top
You might get amazed at first being out with a Russian Woman for a
special occasion, dinner, or just a movie with the way they are dressed up.
They pay a lot more attention to looks and clothes than European or American women. It is very unlikely that you see many Russian women wearing shapeless T-shirts or baggy jeans.
In FSU cities it is natural to see many women wearing high heels and make up and perfumes during the daytime just going to or from work. That is also absolutely normal to wear tight clothes and mini, especially in summer. Do not let this mislead you, as too short a skirt and too bright a top can hid an ordinary girl who will take it as a harassment if you start inviting her to your hotel room out of the blue.
The clothes are part of image and sexuality of a Russian woman, and means of attraction. Russian girls are rather demanding to their own looks. Even if the outfit is not the trendiest, tidiness and elegance are always the requirements for Russian women to themselves and their partners.
Read more about Russian clothing tradition
Thanks to the Soviet times when education was free of charge
and available for everyone a lot of people in Russia and other FSU
countries have got higher education, especially women. Good higher
education is also very important for a young girl even if she is not
planning to work just after the graduation from the University but
wants to dedicate herself to the future family and children. No wonder
that Russian acronym for university (ВУЗ - Высшее Учебное Заведение =
Higher Educational Establishment) is also deciphered as Successful Marriage.
Most people here take university education as a very important thing. They have their children go to universities right after school, pay for it for 5 years and then we have tons of unemployed young professionals. Very few earn to pay for education themselves. Moreover there is still free university education available and it was all free some years ago. A number of colleges, academies, universities, affiliates of universities increased dramatically, many have affordable prices. This caused a great number of people who have University degrees.
More about Russian Women Education and Career Prospectsback to the top
Some of the professions stated in the girls' profiles can seem quite impressive or sometimes even really misleading. That's why we would like to turn your attention to serious differences in the salary amount, prestige, and duties performed by the people of the same profession in different countries. A Russian doctor can have a very good qualification and education and get a paltry salary. But at the same time there is a very little possibility for a Russian doctor to become a doctor in the US or elsewhere. An economist in Russia is not at all the same as in the USA. More often it's a clerk performing duties similar to those of an accountant. There is also some misunderstanding with names of profession. A "Manager" seems to be the most frequent profession. There are just too many managers. The reason is that the word is not always used correctly. Manager is not always the one in charge of people or projects. Sales person in charge of a department in tech. super market is a manager, an employee at the reception of the beauty shop is a manager, and the director's assistant can be called a manager. There are "housewives" in the catalogue. And there many of them among single, young women with no children. No wonder this smells fishy for our men clients. Who are these children free 25-year-old looking after? Who pays her expenses? But it usually means that the girl is just "between jobs". The actual meaning is lost in translation. Most of women, interested in marriage with a foreign partner, are ready to change the profession or even stay at home, dedicating themselves to the family, husband, children and of course finding time for herself.
According to the statistics the majority of women in FSU have got a job. Sometimes women even happen to be breadwinners. But digging deeper into the reasons for that we find that most women in Russia work not for career they work to get money. Finances in Russian families with children are often so touch-and-go even with both spouses working that some women do not even use all the unpaid maternity leave to which they are legally entitled because their families cannot afford to live on the husband's salary alone.back to the top
The attitude to money on behalf of FSU women may seem unusual to you.
A lot of western men are afraid of scam and that fear creates serious
problems in communicating with FSU women. If you really like a girl you
shouldn't be afraid to seem too romantic. Send her flowers, candies or
presents to show your affection. Of course words are important, but your
deeds are the best token of your feelings. At the same time we recommend
to avoid sending money directly to ladies if you have never met, even if
the reason seem cogent enough (illness, visa, travel expenses, Internet expenses,
small salary etc).
But don't be shocked if she expects you to pay for her at the restaurant, theatre or for a taxi. Paying for a woman at a date is a normal way of courteous behaviour. FSU women expect it from a man and there aren't any "evil intentions". It's a typical dating rule in FSU. If you don't want to pay for her at a restaurant or you don't want to pay for your correspondence, she will never believe that your intentions are serious. If a woman doesn't allow you to pay for her meal or other expenses, most likely she is not ready for a serious relationship yet and doesn't want to feel some obligations towards you.
And there is one more thing that you should know about money and FSU women. FSU women are accustomed to be the binding force in the family and in most families the women take almost complete responsibility for managing the household (probably because practically all money are spent for food, clothes and home expenses), that's why Russian husbands give their salary to their wives as the matter of course, because the family budget is usually common and is managed also by the wife. Let it not confuse or shock you. It can be different in your family of course.
Unfortunately constant lack of finance and frequent economical crises haven't taught Russian women to plan a budget. And sometimes when there is money it is often spent in a hasty way under the influence of moment wishes or urgent needs. That is one of the most frequent reasons for misunderstanding in international families. You will have to find a happy medium in order not to let your girlfriend use you without a shame and at the same time you mustn't seem too greedy or being unable to enjoy life. For instance don't be surprised when your girlfriend orders a big portion of ice-cream but doesn't eat it even to a half. Big portion brings more pleasure but the girl can't eat a lot because she wants to stay in a good shape. Such girl DOES NOT blow off your money, she just tries to enjoy the time spent with you.
Gentle-hood, attention and courtesy are the qualities with the help of which a well-bred
man is differ from others. That is natural and courteous for a man here to help a woman
get off a buss or open a door in front of her or help her with the overcoat, not
necessarily he should be dating her at the time.
In Russia you're expected to treat a woman like a lady. An expression "to win a woman" would make a perfect sense to describe your attitude to a Russian woman you are courting. She is waiting for your initiative, ability to take up decisions and wants to feel desired and fought for.
This chapter is closely connected with age difference issue. The phenomenon of ageing and attitude to it is different here. Russians sort of grow up faster then Europeans and Americans. That has more to do with self- perception then looks. We get married, have children, and start thinking about career, own business, having property and settling down in life in general earlier then our coevals in other countries. Even though it is changing at the moment, most people are married and have kids by the age of 30. However they can continue living with their parents. But that is influenced by the factor of poor economy in most FSU countries. Russian women start thinking about marriage and having their own family much earlier and appear to be more mature in many life situations than the girl of the same age in your country. So do not be surprised if a 23-year-old girl tells you things you would expect to hear from a lady that is 10 years older.back to the top
Another thing that causes a lot of arguments is the problem of age difference. We can't say that all the Russian women and girls share the same attitude to the difference in age with their future husband. But there are a lot of young beauties, trying to find a tower of strength, a husband, able to provide a good life level and education to future children and who could be a bread-winner in case of need (not all the women can find an appropriate job without language knowledge and without experience of living in a foreign country). A lot of men "from West" that are above 40 match this ideal perfectly. Nevertheless it's not advisable to waste your time on correspondence with girls who are 20+ years younger than you. Most likely she will be interested in the beginning but than she will probably realize that you have too little in common. But if you're ready to keep on trying than you've got a chance to make things work. But isn't it better to find a woman who is a bit older but looks no worse than a young student but who's got life experience and rich inner world and who will sincerely cherish your relationships.back to the top
During the Soviet time sex, speaking up about it, admitting your sexual desires,
needs and problems was a taboo. Things are different now and people feel more relaxed
dealing with the issues of sex, especially younger generations.
However, the past times have affected the mentality and you should get prepared that your Russian fiancee might appear less liberated speaking about sex. Russian women are sexy. They can just be more private when it comes to discussing sex related things.
Anyway we wish you good luck in finding the intercultural bridge with your FSU woman! And remember that trust is the basis of any relationship!
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